it's been 2 months since i left my friends, it's been almost a month since i left most of my family. i've been good, i've been calm... my brain did a great job shutting up the possible pain from homesickness... my heart has went on =>i was back to being the rational Anuka, who wouldn't have done any of the reckless things i'd done last summer. but when i didn't miss him or think of him, i lacked any kind of feeling in general... i didn't want to be a freaking zombie, so to remind myself of how much i love and care about my friends i started digging up pictures of us... happy, silly, funny &, most importantly, together. i've been talking to him... i'm ridiculously glad that we can talk and joke around again... on average of a few minutes per day he makes me feel alive... even though now my heart doesn't beat like crazy whenever he's online, even though now i don't dream of him at all, even though now i've let go of what have happened and what might have happened... even though it's in the past he still makes it all real for me... he's my key to the beautiful world full of emotions...
