So many guys around and i only want Him...

Hahah... Daamn... I used to be alright... Hahah... Alright... Anja's right. I really should stop meeting new guys... But i don't want to give up on this little fun of flirting, the feeling of being wanted and adored too... Since i can't be with Him... since it can't be Him, who calls me his princess, his girl... since i can't be His reason for spending every free minute online, I want to be "important" at least for someone... (but as they say "it never rains, but pours" it's somehow always either no one or several someones... not my fault... && don't get me wrong... I don't go around looking for someone to meet... they find me...)
You see usually it is temporary interest on both sides, when the interest evaporates they simply become unused IDs  on my msger list, or unused numbers in my phone book... Very rarely they'd write out of politeness (or boredom) stuff like "wassup?" and i'd say "nothing much"... (There're some Mr. Crazies though... Once a guy wrote to me to inform me that he was dating a very nice girl... hahah... I simply said "good for you" He couldn't have honestly expected me to be jealous, could he? hahah) I DO feel quite bad for this one particular guy from work though... I think i've let it go too far this time... But this is another story...
So anyway... I don't mind meeting new ppl, new guys either... I do not consider myself disloyal to Him just because i do chat with guys and sometimes go out to meet them... I keep everything within limits... But good reason tells me i really should end it all. As reality proved it over and over again in the past one and a half year, meeting guys like this really won't help me get over Him. This was and is my primary goal, y'know... the whole princess thing i mentioned in the beginning and the studying of guy psychology are a picked up hobby, which i can easily let go of...
So... i guess i'll just have to learn to lie that i have a bf, huh? It's so not fair that have to lie, not fair that it can't be a truth, not fair that i can't be with Him... Yeah, i know... He'd have said: "Who said life is fair?" Still... i miss him so much, not that i have much to miss...